This series on race has opened up interesting conversations. It has always resulted in people asking me the tough question of “Ok since you opened up this issue, how do we solve it?” My first response was, “My goal was just to start the conversation, not to try and solve it.” The problem is that only beginning the discussion doesn’t advance this broken relationship. The only way to start the conversation is to turn to the master of healing broken relationships.
If God could find a path to restore a fallen humanity, surely he has some idea how to deal with the black-white racial divide? As I started down this road, one section of scripture screamed at my soul; it is from Ecclesiastes 3. Over the course of the next two weeks, I will unpack a pathway to reconciliation. Below is the foundation for this reconciliation.
For everything, there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
I will take one crucial phase for us to chew on this week: “a time to heal.” What I have covered so far in this series are some of the effects that the pain the race sins of the past have left in its wake. It has created; distrust, anger, guilt, shame and brokenness just to name a few. I am sure if you sat down to think about it you could develop a more exhaustive list. The question of this century is how do we heal this?
Steps in the Healing Process
- Know the “truth.”
When a relationship that has been severely damaged, incorrect or partial information serves as a detriment to getting beyond the hurt. Race in America is driven by erroneous perceptions about each other. To begin to heal, we need to see the past accurately. The reality of the current landscape can change. But it is a process to work through. It’s the beginning part of the healing process. We need to acknowledge the current struggles. Face the painful realities. And shed light on what needs to be fixed, so we can begin to deal with the current pain.
2. The regaining of trust takes both sides working together.
When it comes to conflict, our natural inclination is to get defensive. Being transparent is hard. For this nation to move forward, we all have to be willing to make progress beyond the typical ways of operation. There must be a sincere effort to work out the issues, or the walls will never come down. The angrier we are, the less we can hear what the offended person has to say. The longer we ignore this deep hurt in our society the worse relationships will get.
3. It takes time.
The divide did not happen overnight, and it can’t be solved quickly. The process will take time. Think of it in these terms; it is like a marriage where one member cheats on the other. You don’t just get back to business as usual. You need to see repentance, a change of attitude. You need to take small steps forward. You look for little windows of progress and along the way, there will be setbacks. But if the relationship is worth saving you don’t give up. The real question in all this: “Is the racial divide worth repairing?” If we as a nation don’t think so, then all is lost even before we begin.
Other posts in this series can be found on the blog under the category of Caught Between Two Worlds:
https://revheadpin.org/2016/07/19/fearfully-made
https://revheadpin.org/2016/06/07/diversity-in-the-church/
https://revheadpin.org/2016/07/05/dealing-with-race-in-america/
Becoming Bridge Builders 
This is definitely a relationship that is worth saving. Your point that it will take time is key. Hurt is hard to heal but as you said transparency is harder. The one thing we need to make clear most is our love for and connection to one another. If we can’t connect, we can’t heal. Thank you for this wonderful insight (as always).
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Well, Keith, I believe you are on the right track here! I thank God that He is using you in this way. I look forward to this series. Blessings!
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Thank You Andy. I am humbled by how this is being used in Church’s and life to begin honest conversations and reflection.
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Yes, it is a much needed discussion. I pray God will guide each of us in healing this divide.
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It’s time. Healing is needed for such a time as this.
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Amen! I totally agree. Thanks for reading. Have a blessed day.
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Keith – Thanks for your sharing thoughts on this critical topic of healing and reconciliation. I look forward to reading more.
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Thanks for this Keith. I agree, it is high time that the church led the way into solving this issue, instead of leading the way into perpetuating it.
If I may add a story that has led me to understand part of what can fix this issue. I can’t fix you , and you can’t fix me, and neither one of us can fix society. We can only fix ourselves. A good start is simply for each of us to do two things: stop ourselves from behaving in ways that are prejudicial and confront our circle of influence when they do it.
My story. Do you remember the inflammatory meme circulating with the picture of the guy holding the sign basically saying no mother should fear that every time her son robs a store that he might get shot? Something like that. You know, the fake one. The photo shopped one? Look the sad truth is, many people I know believe that to have been the Gospel truth, and use it to who just how out of whack “you people.” are. In other words, it’s okay for us to act like fools, because after all, ya’ll started it.
Anyway, the other day we were taking a road trip with some good friends, and again, that stupid meme came up, again as a way to justify more bad behavior. So, I just pile on in and said to the assembled group..”Hey, does anybody actually get the simply fact, that, THAT NEVER HAPPENED? You would have thought I insulted their mothers or something, they got pretty steamed at me and we had a rather spirited argument over it LOL. One person even went so far as to say,”Well, they may not have actually said that, but we all know they probably thought it!” Sigh
So, we closed with one simple question from me and a challenge to them which has yet to be answered. Is it ever okay for a Christian to knowingly spread something he or she knows to be a falsehood, just because it helps us meet our ends an serve our purposes? As of yet, nobody has been able to show me where we get to do that. More importantly, no mention since of that stupid Meme.
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Great story. It made me smile but it is the sad reality. That is point one isn’t it that we need to unpack falsehood about each race before true healing can take place. Could I use that illustration in the book? It is so fitting for that section.
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Yessir, feel free to use it in any way that helps. I was sort of a wake up call to me, actually. Rather convicting, as I never really though about how often I participate in furthering the problem by simply going along. We all do that, because who wants to rock the boat they are riding in? Ha..not me.
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No I understand. I don’t swim very well. Staying in the boat is safer. Lol
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Thanks for these comments. I could not agree more. I also discuss this on my blog.
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The more people talking about it the better. Blessings
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I especially appreciate your comments about the time and commitment healing requires, the “small” incremental steps, because “if the relationship is worth saving you don’t give up.” Thank you!
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Thank you Leslie. I am trying to balance hope and realism
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